Do You Have the Right Horse?
This is a topic I come back to from time to time. Not to be repetitive, but because it’s an important question. As a coach, I hear it often:
“Well, this isn’t the horse I thought I was going to buy.”
Think about it – did you feel the same when you were overjoyed with your horse purchase? Often, emotions guide our decisions. We see a horse that may be struggling, or one whose owner isn’t managing it well, or maybe it’s inexpensive because the previous owner couldn’t handle certain habits or health issues.
One phrase I hear a lot is:
“I probably shouldn’t have bought a young horse!”
That cute little foal has grown into a 3–4-year-old, and suddenly the size hits you. Thoughts start creeping in about sending it “to someone who can and dares to handle it.”
Another common comment is:
“I’ll try to find a rider tougher than me, so the horse can get more exercise.”
This happens even to people who have had horses their whole lives. Suddenly, they face situations they can’t quite manage. Confidence wavers when the horse doesn’t respond the way they expect. But every horse is an individual and needs to be treated accordingly.
Many have been taught that you should always send the horse to someone “who knows how.” That may make sense for a breeder, but if you only have one horse and you’re the one riding it, it’s usually better to seek help to learn how to manage it yourself. Otherwise, the same issues often return when the horse comes home – it recognizes its familiar surroundings and the owner who doubts their own abilities.
A horse doesn’t know what’s “right” or “wrong” in riding, but it can feel when you’re nervous. Simply worrying that you’re not skilled enough can make you tense. That’s why I often encourage riders to understand that you don’t need perfect posture or rigid rules to earn a horse’s trust.
Then there are all the comments from others:
“What a talent – and it’s just standing in the paddock! When will you start riding it?”
Suddenly, pressure builds, and you start doubting your time, your age, or your courage.
I’ve helped many riders regain their confidence and rediscover the connection with their horse. It’s not just about having the “right horse” – it’s about truly understanding and working with the one you have. Listen, enjoy your time together, give it patience, and remember: you bought the horse for yourself, not for anyone else to “tame” it for you.
The hardest horses often teach us the most. If you want support along the way, I’m currently offering a free consultation to help you reflect on whether you really have the right horse for you.
