Is fear forbidden?
The other day I posted an ad that I am starting a group for those who are afraid to ride or have a problem with their horse. On the site are members from all over the world and from countries where riding is still dominated by men.
Here I got an example of why many do not want to admit that they are afraid. One man was sincerely surprised that nowadays there were courses for everything with horses! He thought that if you were to ride and socialize with horses, you could expect to fall off and / or end up under the horse and then it was just a matter of getting up again or else you should stop riding.
This is a mindset that has stuck in equestrian sports and therefore there are not many who admit that they are afraid, they would rather quit.You must not be afraid of your horse, you must not show emotion and you can just as easily give up, because when you are afraid, it is bad and the horse feels it a long way.
It is also the perception I had to grow up with and I still had it until it hit me. The horses were my whole life, my hobby, my job, my everyday life, etc. I did not admit to myself and certainly not to others that I was afraid. I just simply did not have “time” to ride. The stables would be swept, the family would have food, etc.
The way this man thinks is, as I said, not unusual and very typically male. You have to be tough and not show emotion. For women, it is different. We have a lot of feelings that come at an inopportune time, including that we love the horse and even if we do not agree with it, we still want to fight to keep it.
In my world, it’s better to be weak. That the horse throws you off, splints, bites or kicks, is a way for the horse to express itself and if you are not aware of this, life can be very difficult for the horse. Unfortunately, I have seen too many tough riders who would show who decided (myself included as a junior) where the horse has not had a chance.
This is not to say that it is good to be afraid, but that it can happen to anyone and it is not the end of the world, just because you do not throw yourself on the horse again.
If you have become scared or frightened, please scedule a free call with me at anneaxell.com/appointment and lets see if I am able to help you!